


Misunderstood

by joeyrz



Series: Misunderstood Series [1]
Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-03-01
Updated: 1999-03-01
Packaged: 2017-10-17 06:05:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/173717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joeyrz/pseuds/joeyrz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Ares acts out unexpectedly, can Joxer give him another chance?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Misunderstood

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fic, written way back in 1999 and posted to the joxerotica mailing list. The writting is amateurish, but I was 17yo back then, and internet fandoms were very young, and it was good enough for back then... I'm not editing any of my old stories I'm posting, I prefer to leave them as they were.

Nothingness hit Joxer. Not good, he thought. Ares only brought him to his presence like this when he was mad. He didn't like it when he was mad. It usually took Joxer a while to get his 'land legs' back. Ares didn't let him. He was already on him, exploring his mouth with his tongue, not his usual soft way, but hard, too hard.

"Um, Ares, wait, give me a minute."

Ares didn't listen; he already was pushing Joxer onto a bed that appeared behind him suddenly.

"Ares, no, not like this. Stop it!" Joxer was trying to push him off, but the god was too strong, too heavy for him. And Ares always got what he wanted. Now, he wanted Joxer.

Ares seemed oblivious to Joxer's protests; he already had made their clothes disappear. He started to push into Joxer. Joxer screamed in pain. Ares had forgotten about oils. Joxer couldn't understand how something that always was so good, so right, was now so painful, so wrong. Ares was too mad to notice that Joxer wasn't screaming in pleasure, but in pain. Ares pushed once more inside Joxer as he came, filling him.

Ares slipped out of Joxer, and slumped down next to him. Just then he noticed. Joxer was crying. He was in pain.

"Jox, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"I asked you not to... I didn't want to... you made me..." Joxer broke down in tears.

"Jox, wait, I didn't hurt you, did I?" Ares pulled Joxer to him. Joxer pulled away from his touch. He tried to sit up, but the pain was too intense. He rolled to his side, away from Ares instead.

"Jox, I didn't mean too. Here." Ares put his hand on Joxer and cured any injuries he may have caused.

"Ares, take me back. I was with Gabby and Xena when you took me; they must be worried about me. They 'do' care about me, you know."

"Jox, I'm sorry, forgive me."

Funny, Joxer thought, gods don't apologize, but here was Ares, god of war, apologizing to him. Then why don't I feel any better? Because he doesn't mean it. He just wants me to stay. I should have guessed he didn't really care about me, I'm just a good fuck to him. I should have known better.

"Take me back, now, Ares." Joxer could barely speak, much less make that sound forceful.

"I'll take you back. I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Good-bye Ares."

Nothingness again. Joxer fell flat on his face on the middle of the road.

***************************************

"Joxer, wake up."

"Come on Joxer, please, wake up."

"I don't get it Xena, why won't he wake up? He's not injured or anything. What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know Gabrielle. Wait, I think he's waking up."

"Joxer, come on, wake up, please."

Joxer slowly opened his eyes. He saw two figures over him. As his vision cleared, he recognized the faces. "Gabby? Xena?"

"Yes Joxer, it's us. What happened to you?" Xena asked him as she helped him sit up.

"Yeah, I mean first you disappear from behind us, then after looking all over for you, we find you unconscious on the road."

It all came back too fast, too painfully. Ares taking him away, fucking him, raping him. Gods, raping him. It felt like a thousand daggers found a home in his heart. He got up abruptly, lost his balance, but managed to stay on his feet.

"Leave me alone." He started walking away.

"Joxer, wait, what it is?" Gabrielle tried to grab his hand. But Joxer pulled away from her touch.

"Joxer!" Gabrielle tried for his hand again, half annoyed, half worried at his attitude.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" Joxer screamed as he ran down the road.

Gabrielle and Xena froze. Joxer had never screamed like that at them. Something was wrong, very, very wrong.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two weeks, Joxer thought, it's been two weeks. Two weeks since Ares... well since that day. Then why am I still hiding out in this cave? Why does it still hurt so much? I can't hide forever, can't I? It's not like anybody will miss me. Mother? Maybe, but she still has Father, and Jett and Jace. Gabby and Xena? No, they could use the time together, alone. Ares? He can always find another mortal to fuck. That's all I was to him anyway. In fact, I would be doing the world a favor. It doesn't need any more wanna-be warriors running around, tripping over everything, even his own feet. I'm no warrior. But without Ares, I'm nothing.

***************************************

"Xena, it's been two weeks already, where could he be?"

"If I knew, Gabrielle, we would have found him already, don't you think?"

"Xena. You know what I mean."

"I'm sorry Gabrielle, I'm worried too, but I'm no god."

"But I am." Ares flashed into view. "And I'm also worried about Jox."

"Ares, what do you want?" Xena raised her sword.

"This has nothing to do with you Xena. Like I said, I'm worried about Joxer."

"You? Worried about Joxer? Since when?"

"I just am. Look, I found him, but he's made it clear he doesn't want me around."

"He 'is' smart, after all," Xena said.

"You said you found him, where is he?" Gabrielle asked him.

"In a cave not far from here." Ares created a campsite for them. "Why don't you sit down? I guess I have some explaining to do if you are ever going to help me."

"You better not be trying anything," Xena growled.

"Look, I promised Joxer I wouldn't try to hurt either of you. Now, please listen."

"Please?" Xena had never heard Ares say please, and mean it. "We'll listen."

***************************************

"Joxer? Are you here?" Gabrielle called out into the cave. She held the torch out into the cave.

Ares sounded honest, Gabrielle thought, when he told us about him and ... Joxer. Ugh. Nasty. They, well mostly Xena and Ares, decided that I would be the best one to talk to him. If I could only find him now. This is too weird. I always thought Joxer liked 'me'. I didn't let on; I love him, but not like that. I didn't want to hurt him.

"Joxer? Are you in here?"

"Gabby?"

"Joxer? Yes, it's me Joxer. Are you alright?"

"Are you alone?"

"Yes."

"Help me."

"Joxer, what's wrong?" Gabrielle held the torch out, and almost dropped it as Joxer came to the light. He has so much paler than usual, and his wrists, they were poorly bandaged and the bandages were all red from blood. Gabrielle ran to Joxer's side. He fell into her arms.

"I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to live... after what Ares... after what he did."

"I know Joxer, he's worried about you, he asked me to tell you he's sorry. He says he didn't know, that he didn't mean to."

"I don't... I can't believe it."

"Believe it... Joxer?" Joxer wasn't moving. "Joxer! Ares! Xena! Help!"

***************************************

"Xena, Gabrielle... thanks. But could you leave us alone?"

"Ares, I'm warning you, if you lay a finger on him to hurt him, I'll kill you. I still have the hind's blood dagger."

"I won't hurt him." He paused. "I promise you."

"Let's go Gabrielle."

"Tell him we're worried," Gabrielle told Ares.

"I will."

***************************************

"Jox, love, wake up."

Joxer's eyes started to open. "Ares?"

"Yes, it's me."

"Where are we?" Joxer said, alarm in his voice.

"Our room. And don't worry, Xena and Gabrielle are fine. They say hi."

"Ares, let me go, I can't... not anymore."

"Jox, look, I'm sorry, and I mean it. I didn't know I was hurting you. I didn't know you didn't want that. I was just so mad and angry. That idiot half-brother of mine got himself involved in one of my more important wars and managed to stop it. I needed to let some steam out, but that's no excuse for what I did to you. I was so worried about you. When I saw you in the cave, I was so ashamed at what I did to you." Ares laid a hand on Joxer's thigh.

"Ares, no." Joxer got up, getting away from the touch. "I mean, I believe you, but I can't. Not yet, al least."

"Jox, sleep with me tonight." Ares got up and wrapped his arms around Joxer's waist.

"Ares, don't you listen, I said I can't..."

"Do you listen? I said 'sleep' just sleep. "

"Sleep?"

"Jox, I want you to sleep in my arms tonight. I want you to feel safe in my arms again. Because you are."

"Just sleep. You won't ask more?"

"Just sleep," Ares echoed Joxer's words.

"I can do that."

"Come on." Ares kissed Joxer slightly and quickly on the lips, and led him to the bed, with a thought changing their clothes to something comfortable to sleep in.

That night both Ares and Joxer slept better that they had in a long time.

Fin


End file.
